To Colin Creevey
by ReikoShichi
Summary: "I think he died happy. He died while fighting for his family, for his friends and for his freedom even if he didn't have the ability to actually change something, even if he probably knew that he wouldn't be able to achieve anything. And still, he didn't die in vain."


_Hey guys!_

_For me, Colin Creevey's death was one of the worst and I think he clearly deserves more lvoe._

_So here, have this. _

She saw the puzzled faces.

'Why does this girl give the speech? I don't even know her.'

But it was important to her. It was her only way to say good bye.

She also saw many indifferent faces, people who didn't care who was speaking, who only cared about the occasion.

She stood on wet ground, her shoes sank deeply into the soaked ground. She grabbed harder onto the strap of the old, battered camera and spoke.

"One time - it feels like a lifetime ago - Colin said something to me.

'Don't cry because it's over. Just smile because it happened!'

"I don't even know what happened anymore, why I was crying in the first place, but I remember his words.

"Somehow those are the words that really define Colin Creevey, to me. Those words and his camera. Yes, I can clearly remember his camera. It always annoyed me. The constant flashing, his endless talk about his parents, of all the things he wanted to photograph… I hid it one time, in our third year. I still have it.

One time, it has saved his life. If he only would have had it with him on that day. Maybe it would have saved him again, maybe he would still be here.

"Colin was so cheerful. I always wondered where he got all this energy. He always hopped around, like a rubber ball. I don't know how often I have walked the halls of the school with him, at night. And I also don't know how often I got into detention because of him and his silly ideas. But even during detention, even if something had really gone wrong, he never gave up. He was so stubborn. He always wanted his way, regardless of the consequences. He always got up again. To have him as a friend was the best thing that could happen to anyone. Okay, maybe the loudest and most annoying thing, too, but still kind of the best thing. Colin was brave, Colin was loyal and Colin stood up for everything that was important to him.

"That's why he joined the DA in our fourth year, the year that Umbridge came to our school. Dumbledore's Army. I didn't dare to join, and that's what makes Colin a better person than me, than so many others. Colin didn't care about the consequences as long as he could fight for everything that was dear to his heart. Colin was brave. That's why I admired – and still admire – him so much.

As we should start our sixth year there was a new rule. 'No Mudbloods'. Colin and his family fled.

"I couldn't say goodbye. I never could. His life has always been so fast-paced; he never had time for formalities. I didn't see him for such a long time. The year was cruel without him. I guess it also would have been cruel if he would have been with me, but with him, it would have been so much easier to keep fighting. To keep getting to my feet again.

"True, a few students did just that. But… I needed him! Yes, I needed him to be brave, to be Someone. I guess I have disappointed him, back then. He would have wanted me to protect the younger students, wanted me to fight for myself. I never managed to apologize for that. For practically betraying him by being docile and obedient while he was out there, running, fighting against the new government.

"The next time I met him was that day. He hadn't changed at all. The flight didn't harm him one bit. I think that the second I saw him again, I knew it. But I was scared to say it. Would he think it egoistical? At a time like this, a time for fighting, speaking about love?

"We met in the Room of Requirement. When I broke down, halfway into the year, they had brought me there. I hadn't fought, but I just couldn't stand it anymore. I frequently had nightmares of the eyes of the first-years when we had to practice the Cruciatus on them. There, I met Colin. He had heard of the upcoming battle. Professor McGonnagall ordered him to leave with the other minors, but I knew that he wouldn't follow her words. Colin would have never been able to forgive himself if he hadn't helped. And I still haven't forgiven myself.

"As soon as the room was nearly empty, safe for another student and a woman, he tried to sneak out of the door. I was scared, I had doubts. I didn't want him to die and I didn't want to die, myself.

"But he was already out the door. I wanted to call him back, I wanted to shout at him, jinx him if it was necessary, only to keep him safe, but he simply looked at me and said 'Don't be such a coward, it'll be alright, trust me! You don't think what they do is right, don't you? You also don't want them to win! Just this one time, fight for yourself!'

"He said it with this naïve smile of his, this smile, the smile he already had in first grade, and together we went for the battle. And lost each other in the chaos.

"When Voldemort spoke to us and retreated for one hour, when he gave us time to tend to our wounded and dead, I searched for him. As I got to the Great Hall I suspected the worst. All those dead bodies, lying next to each other in neat rows, all the mourning friends, siblings, parents.

"And now we're here. Because Colin Creevey lay in one of those rows.

"I think he died happy. He died while fighting for his family, for his friends and for his freedom even if he didn't have the ability to actually change something, even if he probably knew that he wouldn't be able to achieve anything. And still, he didn't die in vain.

"Colin, I'm sorry that I never stood up for myself, for you or for anyone else. I'm sorry and I hope you can forgive me.

"I love you, Colin.

"Without you, my life would have been over now. But you saved me. It's you who told me not to cry because it's over. It was you who told me to smile because it happened. That's why I'm smiling now, Colin.

"Good bye, Colin. You made me a better person; you helped me so much and still help me, even in your death, by helping me to cope with it. You are the most generous, funniest, bravest person I ever met and I thank you for being that person. A piece of me will forever be with you, will always love you. Good bye, Colin."

A few minutes, she just stood at the open grave, not noticing the rain. Then, she let the camera drop on top of the coffin and walked away.

Yes, she wouldn't cry. She would laugh. And she would get to her feet again, no matter what happened, over and over again. Just like him.

Just like Colin Creevey.


End file.
